The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks – 1/1
Zelda games have always occupied a strange spot in my gaming tapestry. I’m not the gigantic super fan with a triforce tattoo and an intimate knowledge of the split timeline, but I’ve played most of the series and enjoyed nearly every single one (though Twilight Princess was a spot of ‘ehhh’). Needless to say, I played Phantom Hourglass, was moderately impressed, and halfheartedly looked forward to the latest entry in the series: The Title Written at the Top of this Post.
First of all, the most important thing to understand here, I think, is this: I was dedicated, absolutely dedicated, to giving this game a zero when I was about halfway through it. It starts strong enough to be sure. There’s a promising story injected with a nifty little train travel mechanic and Princess Zelda is a ghost! And she travels with you! Isn’t she just so kawaii (editor’s note: kawaii means ‘cute’)?
But once you've knocked out the first two temples, realized they’re childishly easy and begin to grow increasingly annoyed by the train and its sluggish pacing you begin to think, well that’s a 49 out of 100. But if you run a blog that rates games on the hugely innovative binary scale, you know in your heart, this is a bad game.
For a handheld game, the train is just a bit too slow and requires just a bit too much attention. Little things like that and the ever growing stair climb in the Tower of Spirits (which is still an enormous improvement over that bastard hub temple from Phantom Hourglass) begin to pile up and dread begins to grow at the prospect of having to call one of the better Zelda concepts in quite some time a ‘bad game’. The difficulty at first is far too low, and you really suffer through the first three temples apart from a few clever puzzles.
At about the fourth temple though, the difficulty begins to ramp up and things start becoming bearable. "Okay," you say to yourself (you are me for the sake consistency), "so things get a little better near the end, this is still easily a zero. Zelda’s cute little quips and encouragement are not enough to save you, game!" Especially since her armor possession puzzles shift wildly between sorta fun and punching you in the dick. I mean, why the HELL should I have to die in one hit at the hands of a darknut while she sits there with her ghost thumb up her ghost ass?
But in the latter half of the game some cool little reveals are made, the game gets genuinely challenging and the fairly interesting story kicks back in. In short, shit gets real. The climax in particular practically vilifies the whole game, and the Sand Temple is probably the only time I’ve ever been surprised in a Zelda game (and now that surprise is probably ruined for you!).
Finishing the game, I had the immediate thought that the end does not always justify the means, that an irritating 40% doesn’t make the other 60% more enjoyable through some strange Stockholm syndrome phenomenon. But upon further reflection, some of the greatest games have required just a little bit of patience. Would the original Final Fantasy’s last boss be as great if the player didn’t meet Garland and travel the globe, with high encounter rates and lack of direction every step of the way? Would Super Metroid be a classic if it didn’t take all your powers and make you scour the planet to get them back one by one?
Though it holds maybe a bit too closely to the old school Zelda formula, its fresher aesthetics and steps into a newer direction, not to mention an incredible finale, rescues Spirit Tracks from the Brink of Badness and into one out of one territory.
Also you get Rope Snake! Rope Snaaaaaaake
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