Game: WET
Genre: Third-Person Shooter
Boners Triggered: 1
Number of Monkey References: A Great Many
On a whim, I decided to pick up a copy of WET at the local haberdashery (that’s French for “Game-Parlor”), for the Xbox 360. I hadn’t heard about this game in the slightest, so I had no idea what to expect. As such, I expected the world, since I figured hey, might as well expect as much as I can, so as not to insult the game. Bolstered by this expectation, I decided to pop the game in right away. As the disc tray closed, I buckled myself in, ready for an adventure. Literally, buckled myself in.
My right hand on the controller, and my left hand on the steering wheel, I backed up out of the driveway as the first cinematic began to play. Skipping past both that and the curb, I sped off just as the first real cutscene began to play. It is here we are introduced to the alluring, yet terrifying, Rubi; a mercenary-for-hire, whose personality consists of “angry” and “has guns.” She’s a woman of few words, but she makes up for a lack of vocabulary with an uncomfortably massive supply of bullets. The game consists of our anti-heroine Rubi flip-tricking around and shooting guys, for the most part. You can jump, wall-run, and slide, each action thrusting you into bullet time, for an easier time murdering countless anonymous dudes. The game gives us little time to evaluate the motives of the enemies, so whether they deserve death or really were just in the wrong place at the wrong time is a question that will weigh heavily on the minds of the player, just as those pedestrians will forever regret walking out onto the road at the moment they did.
Like this, but the deer is people.
As I thumped over the little girl with all the badges and what was no doubt her grandmother, I noticed an interesting thing about the game; while in bullet-time, there is only one reticle for two guns, but not by virtue of her shooting both guns at the same target. While you aim one gun, Rubi fires the other one, at her own discretion, usually at the nearest threat. This is great, since you only need to aim with one hand. I was having a hard time as it was, moving around with my knee; the thought of aiming with it also was out of the question. It does you a favor in that it shows you which one she’s firing at, so you can either shoot the guy faster or take out two henchmen at once. An interesting little piece of gameplay, I thought, that at the time I couldn’t fully appreciate because of the horns honking on any side of me.
The level progression is pretty standard, with the layouts consisting of alleys, much like the ones I was charging through currently, that lead to a big room where you fight hordes of guys while trying to pull levers. You use Rubi’s amazing acrobatic skills, a la Prince of Persia, to navigate and/or murder your way through these foes and hit the switches, which incrementally stop the flow of bad guys. The levels rarely deviate from this pattern. Even as the game progresses, the only change is the amount of bad guys (there’s more), and the introduction of turret-guy. The game as a whole is rather repetitive, much like the blaring of the multiple sirens coming from around the next corner.
This part of the game is sooo boring.
A welcome variance came by a level wherein you are falling through the air, miles up in the sky, shooting at henchmen who also happen to be falling with you. The dynamics are a frustrating, but the feeling of freefalling while keeping your kills-per-minute count consistent make up for that. With all of the excitement I felt here, it was as if I had steered into oncoming highway traffic! The game really picks up here, a place unfortunately closer to the end than the beginning. It is from here and on that most of what little story there is takes place, and soon after is a scene where our Rubi kills a guy in her underwear, which really made the game, I thought, up until she put her pants back on.
One thing I have neglected to mention thus far is the deal with the namesake of the game. The opening scene shows us that WET refers to being covered in blood. Given the body count of this game (which is rivaled only by the number of felonies I was, and in fact still am, committing), this certainly makes sense, but the phrase more correctly applies to specific sections of the game where Rubi goes into “Rage” mode. The game gets heavily filtered, edges are blurred, and everyone looks like pudding. The bad guys die faster in this setting, there’s more of them to kill, and every corpse fades into the distance, like the screaming populace now far behind me. These sections have very little meaning, since you would be killing exactly the same way without them, and no reason is given for why it happens.
Mmmm.... Pudding.
Underneath the whole experience is a rudimentary leveling system and periodic introductions to a new weapon every so often, with interchangeable “training” levels for each one. You also have a sword, but that’s not too important. It’s understandable to want to place these components in the game; it wants to keep your attention. But everything about them felt unnecessary and insignificant. These sections should have been worked on more, or taken out completely. Oh also I drove through a mall, or whatever.
Surrounding the mediocrity of the WET experience, however, is a border of wonder, a soundtrack of amazitude. The music is well done and sets the mood wonderfully for any given part of the game. It is the soundtrack itself, rather than any of the plot elements, that sets the pace, telling you when you should be happy, or angry, or running stop lights, or driving through police barriers, or shooting a guy, or even shooting two guys.
Pictured: Music
WET in an interesting experience, to say the least. Combining acrobatics with third person shooting, and splicing in some interesting game mechanics, is good in theory, and good in practice, for a while. There are some awkward hiccups in the flow, which is understandable, but frustrating. Mix this with the one level this game really seems to have, and you are left with a deflated soufflé, saved only by the creamy chocolate soundtrack you pour on top of it. That’s what you put on soufflés, right? Chocolate? I thought about this, wondering what else you could put on soufflés, as the arresting officer pushed me up against his car. As for the game, there are some good aspects, but the picture is not complete enough to buy.
I give this game 0 “I didn’t mean to, officer, I swear”s out of 1.
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